Running: Part II

I've never been great a keeping a diary. I loved the idea, but it just never happened. I think having a journal or scrapbook is such a nice thing to have, but it just isn't me. I have random poems and snippets of written stuff all over the house, but it is not consistent. Now, I easily realise something that I've known for a long time: I run from myself. Having children has made it more difficult to escape this fact. I have always kept a busy schedule. I thrive off of that. And in fact, I believe that I need that. I don't have any deep dark secrets or a terrible past that I'm running from. I just can't function when it's about me. It being anything. I'm learning slowly to take things for myself, but I'm not very good about it yet.

What I need most is time and space and to be perfectly honest being mom of two young children and wife to a wonderful husband who happens to be the opposite of me in this matter makes this difficult to say the least. It's a bit like a three-legged race, but I'm not tied to a peer of got the two kids and husband tied to me. The husband happens to be a triathlete, the two year old is running off happily in his own world and the four year old is trying to drag me along wherever she goes.

Instead of running off on my own creative path, I'm taking some laps on a track. So here I find myself doing a small job which I love. I'm making someone else's scrapbook. I get to do the creative thing. It's a real job (real enough for me anyway) and it's not about me or my family. Their things are in a box (slightly nicer than the Bazooka gum box my childhood memories are in at my parent's house).
I'm also finding that this blog and now my examiner articles are the closest I'm going to get to a journal or diary right now. I'm okay with that...because this is for me a little and I can share it with friends and family.

I'm going to keep running. That's what I do and that's how I function, but I will take moments to warm up, do a little breathing, and stretch myself.